Love Actually

"So have you ever been in love", he asked me
"Yes, once I have been in love", I replied.
"So how is your girlfriend?"
"Don't know, we are not together now."
"Oh!!! So how much you cried when she left"
"I haven't cried."
"Then it was not love, it's just a crush."
So in this way, my love was declared as a Crush because I never cried.
Now I am thinking, "Why tears are so important in love? Why pain and love are synonyms? Why people don't believe in your love only because you never cried?

I thought loving someone mean giving all the happiness you can to the one you love, even though they are happy without you. Why one should cry because she/he is not with them? In spite we can be happy, watching smile on their face.

Loving someone not always means to be with them in person, it also means a thought in their mind that "Yes, I am with you no matter whatever happen. Whenever you need me I'll be there." Isn't this enough to say you are still special for me.

There are people around who talks of many stages like Crush, Infatuation sometimes Committed and then Love. Seriously I can't understand these stages, either you love someone or not. These stages are just excuses for not being together.

Now it was my turn to ask question:
"Have you ever been in Love?"
"Well I have dated 7-8 girls and had two serious girlfriends"

And I thought "Oh!!! GOD, two more terms "Date" and "Serious Girlfriend".

Now what a Date is? If you like someone, you want to spend some time with them. That people call a Date. Then where is the crush stage? "If you don't have Crush on someone, why are you going on date with them?
So where do I put it in the hierarchy is it after Crush or before Crush?

And what is this "Serious Girlfriend" thing and if it is serious, why it is two? Oh!!! These things are looking funny to me. Why we are making things so complicated?

I have seen people saying she/he is my girlfriend/boyfriend. But I haven't heard them saying "Yes, she is the girl I love." I don't know why guys/girls are so afraid of accepting that they are in love with someone. Then what are these boyfriend/girlfriend things? When you start calling someone boyfriend or girlfriend, not a friend?

And as a matter of fact "Nobody remembers a successful love story". For example stories of Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet we talk about. And when we talk about romantic movies, we talk about Walk to remember, the Notebook etc. See, nobody like successful love story.

I have so many questions and I know there are many people around who can give me answers for all these questions. But maybe I don't want answer for all these question? May be I don't want so many answers?

But I want answer for only one question "What is Love Actually?"

 

 

Marriage Ceremony of IT Professional

Before I invite you all to the marriage ceremony of an IT Professional, let me tell you some culture and rules we follow at any software company. As many of you may know that in such office we all are provided with Access Cards,that are required to cross any door or to enter any Bay. We develop a habit of paying all our bills online or with Debit/Credit card. at many places you need to enter your Enterprise ID and Password. And one more thing we guys get meal coupons (Sudexos etc.).

Now lets come to the marriage:
Initially the mother mails to her son telling that the bench period of bachelorhood is now over and he is Hardlocked to a new project called marriage. Hardlock, yeh!!! this the terminology we use. And he need to report the supervisor (Father) as soon as possible (ASAP). Our software engineer raise a request to get roll off but of no use. As nothing can be done he agrees for the marriage.

Now a meeting is arranged for the boy and the girl. The boy asks so many questions to the girl like what are her area of specialization? If she had any previous experience? What are the projects she has already worked? And the girl replies innocently that she is a fresher. Anyhow the marriage gets fixed and now KT (knowledge transfer) sessions are organized by the boy's married friends and they share some important information with him.

Now preparation for marriage starts. Cabs are booked for the "Barat". Girl and Boy mails their friends with the subject line as "Action Required:Need to attend the marriage" and with high priority. And finally the day comes. All the friend of boys have joined the "Barat". They dance in front of groom's car and fly Sudexo Coupons in spite of money. At the girl's end a responsible person sits at the door with a card swapping machine, collection gift from the guests and checking their Id card. A guest come and offer him his debit card and says Rs 1001/- or Rs 501/- etc.

The boy comes and sits at the "Mandap"(Wedding Place). All the girl's friend surround him and they hide the access card of the girl's room, this time no shoes. After the marriage the groom finds the Access Card is missing. The girls demand for money in lieu of the Access card and the Groom hands over his debit card to them.

Now the Groom enters the bride's room as he sits near her she asks for password and he gets access, after that... its confidential. Next morning they get a news that they are going Onsite for Honeymoon.

And they live happily ever after unless some bug comes in their life.

2012, Does it Matter?

None of the characters and dialogues in this blog is imaginary and if there is any resemblance with any person or people are found then my sympathy is with them.

I: Hey Mummy has you heard the news?

Mummy: What news you are talking about?

I: It's about the end of world in year 2012.

Mummy: Yes I heard it, but it's all nonsense. Every year such news come, don't worry about it. Whenever they don't have any they show all these crap.

I: But Mummy, what if it's true?

Mummy: If its end of world then let it be, we can't do anything. If everybody dies, we'll too.

I: But there is something you can do.

Mummy: About the disaster?

I: No!!! about me.

Mummy: What?

I: Don't you think, it is the time you should think about my marriage.

Mummy: But son, it's the time for you to make your carrier, not for marriage. You still have 5 years for marriage.

I: What?!!!!!!! 5 years, what if the world ends in 2012? Please Mummy I don't wanna die unmarried.

Mummy: Hey don't be a fool. Nothing gonna happen?

I: What if it happens? You can't say anything about it, so why take a chance?

Mummy: You are looking so concern about your marriage, have you seen some girl?

I: No mummy!!! in this case I am fully depend upon you and father. But it seems even you two are not gonna help me.

Mummy: Oh dear!!! It's not like that but it's not the right time, and when the time comes I'll
show as many as girls you haven't even thought of.

I: Oh Mummy!!! It's just a mother's heart; otherwise you have no idea about the girl to boy ratio in India.

Mummy: Don't worry son there are still girls for you. You will be married too.

I: Oh Mummy!!! You can't understand my concern as you are already married. You can't understand my pain. Mummy if I died due to disaster in 2012 my soul will not get peace. My soul keeps wandering in this world.

Mummy: Oh!!! Then don't worry there would be thousands of other unsatisfied soul with you.

I: No Mummy it's not necessary, may be they are not concern about their marriage and their soul go to heaven in spite of being with me.

Mummy: Well it's enough, don't tease me more. Or if you are ready I'll arrange your marriage next year and you'll not deny.

I: Oh!!! Mummy, you are getting serious. I was just joking; you can carry on with your work. I think I should go.

Main Nashe Me Hoon...

/*Characters
Devdas as D.D
Chunni Babu as Chunnu */

D.D.: Arey!!! Chunnu ye aap hume kahan le aaye?

Chunnu: D.D. Babu ,ye shehar ka sabse bada bar hai.

D.D.: Chunnu bhai isse to achcha to aap hume Chandramukhi ki yahan le chalte, wo kam se kam udhar to deti hai. Yahan to credit card bhi nahi lete, aur aajkal to bahut kadki chal rahi hai.

Chunnu: Koi baat nahi D.D. Babu!! hum hain na. Aaj ki sham humari taraf se. To bataiye kya peejiyega?

D.D.: Waise to kuch bhi chalega, magar apna lebel to Green Lebel.

After some time….

Chunnu: Kya D.D. Babu aap to peene me hi mashgul ho gaye. Ye bhi bhool gaye ki hum bhi baithe hain aapke saath. Kuch baat to kijiye?

D.D.: Maaf karna Chunnu, magar hume peene do hum hosh me nahi rehna chahte?

Chunnu: Bas D.D. babu!!! Ab bas karo. Aur mat peeyo.

D.D.: Nahi Chunnu hume mat roko. Jab tak hum hosh me rahenge Paaro ki yaad hume aati rahegi aur hum tadapte rahenge. Aur is tadap se to behoshi ki neend hi achchci hai, jisme kam se kam dard to nahi hota.

Chunnu: D.D. Babu, kya aapki Paaro bhi aapko itna hi chahti hai?

D.D.: Ye to hum nahi jaante Chunnu, Paaro ke paas to diya hai jise jala kar wo apna man behla leti hai magar humare paas… humare paas to bas ye dil hai jalane ko.

Chunnu: D.D. Babu, aakhir aapki Paro aapse door kyun ho gai? Aur aapki ye haalat kaise ho gai?

D.D.: Bas yahi to hum bhi jaan na chahte hain ki aakhir humse aisi kya bhool ho gayi ki wo hume chod kar chali gai? Kis galti ki hume itni badi saza mili? Wo to kehti thi ki use bhi humari utni hi jarurat hain jitni ki hume uski hai. Usne to vaada kiya tha ki kabhi hume chod kar nahi jayegi. Magar aaj to unhone hume itna akela kar diya ki aaj humara saaya bhi humre saath nahi hai .
Aur rahi humari halat ki baat to iske zimmedar aap jaise dost hain. Jinke paas hum apna tuta dil leke aaye the aur unhone hume daru ke theke pe bitha diya. Aap jaise dost ho to dushmano ki kya jarurat hai?

Chunnu: D.D. Babu!! lagta hai aapko chadh gai hai. Hum to aapka bhala chahne wale hain.

D.D.: Arey!!! Yadi humara bhala chahne wale hote to hume is tarah daaru pilaane ki bajai humari problem solve karte?

Chunnu: D.D. Babu, aap Paro ko bhool kyun nahi jaate?

D.D.: Nahi Chunnu nahi!!! Hum sapne me bhi aisa nahi soch sakte. Hum ek baar saans lena bhool sakte hain magar Paaro ko nahi bhula sakte.

Chunnu: D.D. Babu aap Paro ko bahut pyar karte hain na?

D.D.: Chunnu hum ye to nahi jaante ki hum paaro ko kitna pyar karte hain, magar unki judaai humse bardasht nahi hoti.

Chunnu: Wah!!!! D.D. Babu, humne bahut se aashiqo ko dekha magar aap to sabse alag hain. Jisko Paro ka dard itna hai, uske naam ka nasha itna hai ki wo kabse sode ko daaru samjh kar piye ja raha hai aur use nasa bhi ho raha hai. Main to kab se keh raha hun ruk jao aur mat piyo. Abhi humara order nahi aaya hai.

it still happens.....

I was waiting for bus at the bus stand and at the same time a local mini bus came. The bus was empty and I thought to board the bus. I took a seat and the conductor was shouting outside for more passengers. In the next 2 minutes I was feeling like "sharukh khan of swadesh ". The bus was full with all the colors of India. I saw all sort of people around me like farmers, shopkeepers, villagers and a sage too. The bus was full and no place was left even for standing but the conductor was still shouting and telling all the boarding passengers to move behind. I don't think he has any idea about how long is his bus. Now the bus moved, the women were talking such that even the passenger at the last seat could hear their talk, a man was talking on the mobile but I don't think he need any mobile to talk with someone who is even at the other end of the country.
And the bus stopped and a family boarded. I saw a man with his wife and four children sat next to me. I was thinking why these people have this much children, and suddenly I got the answer. I saw all were girls except the one in the mother's arm and the youngest one. All the children have the age difference of 1 year. The man and his wife sat beside me and he told his eldest daughter to stand nearby. As there was so much rush, she wanted to stand near her father but the man told her to stand holding the seat.
I looked at her, she has worn a yellow old "frok" and a pair of Hawaii slippers and then I looked at the boy in the mother's arm, he was very well dressed and wearing shoes in his leg. After sometime she asked her father for water but he scolded her and told she may drink when they reach home. She didn't say anything. I looked in her eyes thinking she may be angry or sad but there was nothing she was very calm as it's normal, as it was not new for her. And then I heard a small cough and the man started shouting over his wife and told to keep the child away from the window. And he took the boy from the mother's arm and started kissing him and playing with him. I looked at the girl; she was looking at her father as she also wanted to be in him arm and being loved like her small brother. Now I saw something in her eyes.
Suddenly I startled by some voice, an elephant was passing near the bus and everybody started looking at the elephant. The girl was also so excited that she was jumping to see the elephant. And I saw her sparkling eyes, she was so happy. And I thought finally "Happiness finds its way". She kept on watching the elephant till it gets out of sight. After sometime their stop came and she went out holding her mother's hand.
I really felt bad that still our country have people who prefer boys over girls. They still wait for boys even when they are not financially strong. They hardly get two time meal but still they have 5-6 children only for a boy. I don't have words to say but it still happens…………..

Kuch Pal...

Kuch pal baithkar maine,
phoolon ka khilna dekha hai
aur tufaan ki aagosh me unka
mitti me milna dekha hai.

Kuch pal baithkar maine,
baarish ki boonde dekhi hain
aur saawan ki un raaton me
kuch udti needein dekhi hain.

Kuch pal baithkar maine,
bheed ko chalte dekha hai
aur kuch jaane pehchane chehron ko
unme dhalte dekha hai.

Kuch pal baithkar maine,
tera muskaana dekha hai
aur teri un aankhon se
ashko ka chalkana dekha hai.

Kuch pal baithkar maine,
saanson ka chalna dekha hai
aur teri yaadon me khud ka
har pal me marna dekha hai.

My name is Khan

SRK: Hello K..K..Kiran.

Kiran: Raju? Is that you?

SRK: Hey…. Don't call me Raju. I am no more a gentleman. I m D..D..DON now.

Kiran: What? What are you saying? How this happened?

SRK: Oh!!! K..K..Kiran, this cruel world, this cruel world has made me DON. I tried so hard to remain a good man. I worked at NASA as scientist, I also coached Indian hockey team, I tried in movies too but ultimately my career stopped at DON.

Kiran: Oh!!! SRK, it's so sad. So why do u come to me after so many years? You know I am married now and there is no chance of yours now.

SRK: Hey…. Stupid, I am married too and I am no more interested in you. Actually I am very depressed now a days and I wanna talk to some of my old friend.

Kiran: Oh!!! That's so sweet Raj... SRK. What's your problem dear?

SRK: K..K..Kiran, What to tell you? That Amir, he used to comment over me but I didn't care, but from the day he made 8-packs I am afraid of him and his short term memory loss, Oh!!! If some day he hurts me and forget then even polygraph machine can't catch him. I explored his body too may be my name is over there but I didn't find.

Kiran: Well its good news.

SRK: No its not. There are some of his body parts he can't show on screen and I suspect my name could be there.

Kiran: Oh!! SRK you are suspecting him for no reason. He is a nice guy, I know him. You don't need to think of him.

SRK: K..K..Kiran, he is not the only problem in my life. The American cops have also tried to arrest me.

Kiran: What? Then what happen?

SRK: Nothing yaar. You know "DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai". They didn't get any evidence and they released me.

Kiran: Thanks God.

SRK: What GOD? Before only Amir was giving me tension but now a days Salman has also started disturbing me.

Kiran: And what he did?

SRK: I heard that he is also trying to buy a cricket team at IPL. My Knight Riders has already become a matter of shame for me and now this Salman team. I know he'll make a strong team against mine. First my team was already loosing now he is there. Oh God they all will kill me.

Kiran: Oh!! SRK, don't worry "MAIN HOON NA". Everything will be all right.

SRK: No K..K..Kiran, things are getting worse.

Kiran: What happen now?

SRK: What could be worse than heartbreak?

Kiran: Oh God!!! Who broke your heart?

SRK: Its K..K..Karan.

Kiran: What? What I did?

SRK: It's not K..K..Kiran. Its K..K..Karan. Karan Johar.

Kiran: ?

SRK: I heard, now a days he is with Ranbir Kapoor and keeps on saying "Wake-up Sid". Oh God he ditched me. He forgot our old love.

Kiran: Oh SRK, in this case even I can't do anything. But law can help you; you can go to court and ask for your rights.

SRK: No K..K..Kiran, I don't want to bring our relationship to the court. After all I still ………..

Kiran: OK in this situation you should also think for option. Why don't you ask Abhishek or John? They are really smart guys.

SRK: Oh!!! K..K..Kiran, you are so good. You have solved my major problem. I LOVE YOU. OK I'll see you later; I need to make some calls. Bye